The number 24 seems to be the cups of iced coffee needed to get through the day, not how many hours I have.
I continue to be reminded by others of how important it is to ensure I practice self-care and self-love. Regardless of what is going on in my life whether it be with the boys, hubby or the multitude of other responsibilities I have; I deserve “special time” to take care of myself, to love myself.
As magnificent as this sounds, in all reality your day probably unfolds similarly to mine with a few obvious differences:
- Wake up at 5:30 am to work on my blog
- Run out the door at 7:00 am to get to work for 7:30 am and put in 8.5 hours
- Leave work at 4:00 pm to pick up the kids from the different locations they’re at on a particular day then off to the grocery store, a playdate or practice for whichever sport is in season
- Get home between 5:30 pm-6: 00 pm and dinner is pre- made for warming (praise Jesus – thanks, hubby) and then it’s homework, showers, and bedtime routine
- Kids are now sleeping (hopefully) and third shift starts around 8:30 pm; there’s laundry, dishes and more time needed for my blog
- I look at the clock it’s 11:30 pm, figure what’s another hour – it’s 12:30 and you might as well call me Sleeping Beauty because I’m down for the count. And tomorrow? I’ about to do the same exact schedule or something freakishly similar.
So honestly; as a working mom of two boys, wifey to a husband on a different shift and blogger; when do I fit in self-care? When can I give myself self-love?
Well, it depends on what you consider self-care and self-love. To set the record straight: My nail appointments are NOT in these categories. No, no, no my friends – you are mistaken. For as long as I’ve been a working gal (15 years old); my nails have always been the one thing in this world that I consider to be part of a normal routine. I wouldn’t walk out the door with raggedy underwear and unkempt hair therefore you will not find me walking around without my nails looking DOPE. You can keep your daily Starbucks; I have my 45 minutes of heaven with Victoria on a bi-weekly basis and I take that appointment extremely seriously.
That being said, I do plenty of things to ensure I am taking care of my physical, mental and spiritual health and guess what? My top 10 self-care and self-love routines are less than $25.00 assuming you already have the most common products used by women!
I PROMISE if you follow my tips you’ll have a smile on your face, a song in your heart and extra cash in your purse. Yes ladies, grab a glass of wine and read along:
- FREE: Personal hygiene – It is winter, but I do try to keep my shaving routine the same as it was in the summer. There is no reason for any area to need weed wacking once there’s a break in the weather. Act as though its 90 degrees and you’re heading to the beach. I promise you’ll feel amazing!
- FREE: Paint your nails a bright color – I miss the sun, I can feel that my mood is shifting and things that wouldn’t normally bother me are starting to work my nerves. Who said that I can’t paint my nails coral orange in February? Well, I did and when I look down at my fingernails I feel as though summer is that much closer.
- FREE: Download a calming app on your phone – One of my friends told me about this app called Rain Rain. It plays various nature sounds and even offers the ability to mix sounds; creating a perfect storm of crackling fire and rain. After a long day, I can set it and forget it before bed and am usually drooling on myself before the monsoon starts!
- FREE: Dance – I LOVE to dance. Music improves my mood, moves my soul and my entire body. I connect Pandora to the BOSE speakers, pretend I’m having a party with the girls and dance HARD.
- FREE: Meditating – Mornings are extremely important to me. The way you wake up directly impacts whether you are going to have a good, bad or ugly day. To start my day right I need to make sure I’m in the right headspace. I will sit in silence, close my eyes, control my breathing and let my mind focus on my breath (smell the roses, blow out the candles I always say)! At this time I am not thinking about work, the boys, the grocery list or various appointments. I am just free.
- FREE: Saying No – With so many different obligations, responsibilities, birthday parties, wedding showers, playdates, etc. life becomes insane and leaves you with no time to even function. I have learned that I cannot be everything for everyone. My greatest joy has been unfortunately saying NO to others; because at the end of the day, we all need to be responsible for our own happiness. So NO I will not be able to attend every event I am invited to and NO I do not have a conflict in scheduling; it’s just because I don’t feel like it.
- $25.00: Buy yourself flowers – Who said I need to wait to receive a bouquet? There is nothing I love more than to put a beautiful arrangement of flowers in my favorite vase when I walk in the door. Automatically brings me to my happy place! *You can pick flowers if you’d like or accept stolen flowers from the neighbor (thanks boys) and then this would be free!*
- FREE: Gratitude – There are so many reasons to practice gratitude, (my top three coming to a post REAL soon) just taking the time to write a quick list of what you are grateful for, will make your day that much better.
- FREE: Upgrade your surroundings – Creating and writing my blog on my bed, the living room sofa or while sitting at my kitchen table was not cutting it. I’m a writer and a writer needs a desk, like an artist, needs a canvas. Having a great work space which motivates and inspires me does a world of good for my mental state. If you work in an office: upgrade your screensaver, bring in a favorite photo from a vacation you enjoyed. If you are a college student: pick a seat in class close to a window, create a collage on your book cover that makes you smile. *I don’t know, do college kids still use textbooks? Shrugging shoulders* There is always something you can do to create a change in your surroundings, even if it’s small; to make you feel happier.
- FREE: Review, Evaluate and Delete Emails – You all know that I am working on my anxiety. Therefore it will not come as a surprise that I have ripped open my email box like a lunatic and unsubscribed from as many email distribution lists as I can. There is no need to receive emails from every department store I’ve ever visited, automatic payment confirmations, travel and airline emails – it’s ridiculous. If I need to know the information I will log on my calendar within my iPhone and refer to accordingly.
I very much hope that you find this helpful. It’s wishful thinking to believe that we can flip a switch and be somewhere that we’re not.
“This is my life, it is hectic, chaotic and at times damn overwhelming, but I love every moment of it. Learning how to cope with emotions in situations where I couldn’t click my heels and run away; well that’s when I discovered who I really was and developed best practices which allowed me to live my best life.”
About the Author
Tinisha a.k.a. “T” understands the need for moms to feel as though they are not alone while experiencing the bittersweet challenges, fantastic milestones and sometimes down right chaotic madness of raising tiny humans; particularly if they’re boys and you’re outnumbered! My twin sister and I were born in Massachusetts in 1985 and moved to Rhode Island shortly after.
I graduated from Johnson and Wales University with my associates degree in 2006, took a break to work full time at an insurance company and then returned to school after the birth of my son while working full time. I graduated in 2015 with my bachelors degree in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology. I continue to work on the account for that same insurance company today! As a result of personal reflection and growth in 2017 I decided to create and launch Tyme with T on February 11, 2018 as an “after” hobby to pursue my passion of writing; something I could do “after” work, “after” the kids go to bed and “after” the work week.
I am thrilled to begin this journey and hope to create a community of women who are grandmothers, aunts, nieces, mothers, wives and more importantly DREAMCHASERS because I believe we can have it all! My husband and I live in Rhode Island with our two boys, Dominic and Lorenzo.