Fear is a mother f*cker….
I like to be the one who always appears calm, collected and totally ready to kick ass. BUT let me tell you something. FEAR IS A MOFO and it will find you.
It’s the scary things that makes the best versions of ourselves. Even Oprah has to have fears, I mean she is made out of flesh right?
This morning I was meditating. Everything was feeling zen AF and then out of nowhere I totally fell asleep…whoops. It happens to the best of us. Only instead of sleeping I went a dreaming…straight into a total nightmare.
My nightmare consisted of going back to my old job. My former boss wouldn’t help me do anything. She then insisted that I pay for my own work…I then realized that someone had taken my wallet. Went out to my car and my car had been stolen.
My family appeared only to leave me without a phone. Then I ended up trying to call 911 which was being outsourced…
Somehow during this whole ordeal I lost all my clothes. My husband and kids were gone. For some reason even target wouldn’t let me inside.
I had literally lost everything. My business, my family, my car, my clothes and apparently 911.
Everything had been taken from me. I had found success only to have it taken away. My friends, my family, everyone had turned on me. Even my precious Target didn’t want me. It could have been the clothes part.
These my friends, are my greatest fears and fear is a mother f*cker.
I will go live and no one will like me.
I will have to return to a job that crushed my soul.
I won’t have any money.
I will be abandoned by the ones I love.
I will feel naked and alone.
The things we always rely upon will be taken from me.
My family, my husband and my children will be gone.
I will be homeless.
People will tell other people how pathetic I am.
Thanks universe for summing that up all into one dream for me. That is what nightmares are made of in my world. However, here’s the thing that you might not realize about me. While I have those fucking fears, I don’t let them own me. I see them in the back seat, I wave hello like I give a fuck, and keep driving my bus in the direction that I want to go.
WE ALL HAVE FEARS! Are your fears driving the bus or are you?
Here are FIVE ways to stomp your fears into the ground like the total boss that you are.
1. Write Your Fears Down
Acknowledge the fears. Seriously. Write out your worst case scenario day. All your what ifs.
What if the sky fell in? What if I took that big leap and landed on my big fat stupid face?
Write them down. Study them. They are literally just words on a paper. Not scary now are they? Now cover them in bug spray, burn them and destroy the ashes. Who’s crazy now? Don’t really burn things (unless you can do it safely), but get rid of it. Just tear it up into pieces. You are way more badass than those fears. You just destroyed them. Suckers.
2. Tell Everyone About Your Fears
Your mom, your neighbor, your BFF, the random guy at the veggies stand (might have really happened). Whoever it happens to be, just tell them. Once your fears are out into the world, they no longer own you. You introduced them to all your friends. They are not hiding in a closet somewhere.
They are out and they are about. It just does something really amazing to your brain. It’s like you let this big secret totally out of the bag and there’s no going back. Which leads me to my third point…
3. Conquer a Few of Those Mother F*ckers
If you are scared to write a blog post, go live on Facebook, pitch that big brand, whatever it is…it’s probably time you just did the big scary thing. The best way to eliminate a fear is just to do it already.
When we hold ourselves back from truly reaching our destiny we are letting fears drive the bus. Do you realize how much further you are putting yourself back every time you wait a day to do that scary thing.
Now I don’t recommend trying to get into Target naked, no one wants to have their ass chapped from hitting that concrete while a sweaty rent a cop feels you up. Shudders.. What I do recommend is the scary shit.
LIKE OMG…I reached out to my online idol and they responded. OR I got on that discovery call and crushed it. I hit go LIVE on Facebook for the first time. I finally hired that coach to get me to my first 10K month. HOLY SHIT! That’s the fears you conquer like a badass boss.
4. Be Scared
You might be thinking I typed that last tip with a little too much wine, but it’s totally ok to be scared sometimes. I am a military wife and a mom, so yes, sometimes I feel scared. It’s okay. You are allowed to have feelings as a human being.
Just don’t let those feelings dictate your life. Have your scary moments and then get your ass back up. We are on the no bullshit train here, right?
5. Mediate and Surrender to the Universe
I saved the best for last here. If you are feeling scared just take 15 minutes and mediate. Find the courage to push on. Ask for the unseen answers. Just take some deep breaths and calm down.
Go to your happy place.
Trust that everything is going to work out. We are not living in a constant state of fear. We have to surrender to the outcome of the universe. Trust that everything will work out. If something does blow up in your face, you’ll address it when it does. There’s not one damn point of spending a single second thinking about the what ifs. Don’t lose your vibration to the fears, shift it into surrender. Let the universe handle that shit.
How do you face fears when they pop up? Now the next time they come knocking, you have 5 tips right in your badass boss back pocket.
About the Author
I’m SAMANTHA PARKER, the cofounder of Badassery Magazine.
Now I’m teaching others how to build their own online empires. Yes, empires. I believe that building and nurturing a sense community with your business is the key to massive success.