Are you addicted to the drama? Is your drama keeping you small?
This is the tough question that was recently presented to me. My first thought, “Who me? I’m a grown ass women, of course I’m NOT addicted to the drama”! However, I was about to prove myself very wrong.
First, let’s define what I am going to call personal drama. This isn’t a discussion about catty friends or the gossip that you sometimes find yourself sucked into. No, this is personal grown ass women drama.
My drama addiction started as a tween (or maybe younger). Then it quickly escalated when I was in my early twenties and is now attempting to follow me into my middle thirties.
My drama addiction is very simple, yet very complex and encompasses basically everything I do in life. I’d love to sit here and say I’ve uncovered every last piece of it, but I’ve unable to unearth a huge portion of it and replace it! Replace it with time better spent growing this lovely space you see here and connecting a whole lot deeper in my relationships.
My short list of drama addiction includes:
- Not having enough money
- Always getting healthy
- F*cking up as a mother
- Not being the perfect wife
- Running out of time
- Being late or rescheduling
- Saying the wrong thing
- Over drinking
You will see a common theme that comes from my short list of drama addictions. They are all false facts about me. I always have enough money. I am never late. Being late is something that rarely happens in my house, but yet I’m addicted around the drama of it. “Hurry up, we are going to be late”. The same thing goes for my financial flow, “This is never going to be enough. We better move everything around and what happens if we can’t pay for things….”. Drama bullshit that is simply addicting.
The first thing that happened when I came to the realization of how much drama I was actually addicted to made it feel gross. Why would I want myself to suffer? Why would I want to cause stress in my life? Addictive patterns are everywhere. I had to literally compare my situation to someone who is addicted to drugs. They don’t want to hurt themselves, but they are literally addicted.
I then quickly discovered that I was addicted to so much drama that it was keeping me small in my business. I had become addicted to the drama of not having enough sign ups, even not having my social media posts seen. I’ll be the first to admit a viral post is like a shot of dopamine, but an unnoticed post; well, that has a drama fest written all over it. “Was my wording bad? Did my graphic suck. Are they judging my double chin sticking out?” Do you see how this drama fest quickly leads us to dark places?
Uncovering shadow sides
I first uncovered my drama addiction while I was doing shadow work. It’s ugly stuff and really can be quite painful. It actually took me months to just come out and say it. Then I started saying my addictions out loud and they suddenly held less and less power. I even told some close business friends. The first step in all recovery is just admitting.
Freeing yourself from drama addiction
While I openly admit, I still have some drama addictions to sort through, I have found some very effective ways to shift. That shift has opened new doors for me and reopened my creativity. I realized how much I was blocking myself simply by always creating a solution, which was drama.
Think about all the things you don’t have in your life. Is it time, energy, money or an audience? Maybe you have too much of certain things. Belly fat, annoying family members, leaves in your yard, dishes in the sink. Just recognize those things in your life.
How much time do you spend creating energy around these things? You walk by those ditches and yell at your kids. You hate your mornings because your kids are always pissed off, so you spend hours bitching about it to your spouse, friends and basically anyone in range (guilty).
Wouldn’t your time be better spend just addressing the issue once and solving it? Then you can simply move on. Create an easy implementation plan and when you find yourself slipping back into a drama cycle, just bring out the plan again.
Take Immediate Action
Do NOT under any circumstance, let the drama spiral around you. Once you’ve repeated your drama pattern over the kids, it will then lead into your business. You’ll even start attacking yourself. That is what grown ass women drama is. It gets really personal. Just stop it at the entry point. NOPE, not today drama. You have an empire to build.
I’m dead serious. If you’ve recognized it and resolved it, then you just get to ghost it. Your addiction is strong and will try to manipulate you into thinking that you still don’t have enough time, even when you are early or find yourself watching Netflix. Learn to ghost it. Eventually the addiction fades and you are left with satisfaction and bliss.
After all we are meant to enjoy our life. Not live in constant fear of never being good enough. Ghost the hell out of that lingering drama and live your life. Grow a business your way. Take a nap if that’s what you want. Just keep the drama out of your own way.
Create New Mantras
And then post them everywhere. When you’ve realized your drama addiction you need to start reprogramming your brain for success. Learn to flip those old, I never have enough’s, into I always have….Tell them to yourself daily. I recommend creating a set of flash cards. That way you can just always have them on hand.
Freeing ourselves from drama addiction is a process, just show up prepared
You have more time than you can even begin to imagine when it’s spent in your zone of genius. Your time will be sucked so fast if you are constantly letting drama take you down a path of time wasted. Take your power back! Channel it right into creating a badass business that you are so fucking passionate about, it explodes Badassery from every pore.
About the Author
I’m SAMANTHA PARKER, the cofounder of Badassery Magazine.
Now I’m teaching others how to build their own online empires. Yes, empires. I believe that building and nurturing a sense community with your business is the key to massive success.