We are often told to visualize our achievements, to write down your goal and put it somewhere that you can see it every day, to “put it out to the universe” and it will materialize. MAGIC!
So what happens from now, where you have written down that goal, to when you achieve it? Is the “universe” actually just going to hand you “success” first thing Monday morning? Will you turn up to an event and have a crowd of fans, followers and raving clients cheering you on as you walk down the red carpet?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… It doesn’t work that way. Let me tell you a little bit about what does work, though.
You have to set it up, make the room for the fabulous things in life. And… make sure what you are asking for, what you’re working on, is REALLY what you want!
Authenticity is so important when you’re setting goals.
So often we get tied up in trying to be like someone else. We have idols, we have role models, we have people we look up to, and we often try to copy them so that we can shine their confidence and achieve the things that they have achieved in their life.
While “copying” someone who is a positive influence in our lives seems harmless, we aren’t growing the confidence in ourselves. We aren’t accepting who we are and becoming all that we can be. We are limiting ourselves into becoming what we see of that person.
Did you see what I wrote there?? WHAT WE SEE.
Yes, we don’t see it all.
We probably don’t see that person up in the morning having a healthy breakfast, getting a workout in, plucking their eyebrows, cutting their toenails, digging the crusties out of their eyes, reading up on changes in social media, feeling like they want to quit, on calls with their coaches, networking, or subscribing to newsletters.
We see someone with glowing skin, a tight waistline, energy, knowledge, wisdom, and man, they just know EVERYBODY!
So, stop. Stop it right there!
REALLY think about this. WHAT do they have, WHAT have they achieved or WHAT do they portray that you desire?
Are they just plain old happy? Do they have they smile and hold their head up high? Do you see them dancing around and singing songs? (that’s actually a technique to change your state of mind…fyi)
Are they just able to sit answer questions in live situations without hesitation? (Showing up consistently, trusting yourself with your own personal experiences, stories, and inner work will get you there too.)
Do they throw an ad out there that they are hosting an event, or are launching a new program and it is filled the next day? (see above and below)
What’s your next move?
Write down what it is you want. And it can’t be to BE someone else. It has to be YOU.
And, yes, put it somewhere that you will see it. Make it pretty if you want to, put a frame around it. Remind yourself why you’re going to be doing the next step every day.
One thing to remember when you are seeking out your goal is that not everybody in this world is going to love you. So let’s just get that out of the way.
Not every person is going to buy your shit, not every person is going to watch your videos or sign up for your newsletters, not every person is going to like your web design, or your hair. That is what makes the world go ‘round and it is OKAY.
Don’t focus on those people. Focus on YOUR people.
Do you really want someone you don’t fully enjoy in your face all day?
If you jump on the first person who shows up to see what you’ve got going on, and you don’t really get a good vibe from them, they’re going to make you miserable, they’re going to give you bad press, because you’re going to come across like a crank, and they’ll be gone in 2 weeks. If you hold out for someone you jive with, they’ll be there with a smile on, you’ll be happy to see them, they’ll give you rave reviews, and they will be there for the long haul. *they’re your tribe*
Are you looking to gain the attention of crowd?
You need to be eye catching – and not by copying the girl that does those reviews of pots and pans when you’re in an entirely different industry.
The most eye catching thing is to be confident! Yes, radiate confidence and you will captivate an audience, even when they didn’t know they needed what you offer… they will WANT it now, just because you are 100% YOU and they love it!
Now, people can fake confidence, a lot of the time they believe it to be arrogance. But really, I think arrogance is rude. Confidence is acceptance. Acceptance of who you are, where you’re at, and knowing where you will go. It isn’t that you’re better than anybody, but that you will be better than you were yesterday.
Everybody is on their own path and their own journey that you really don’t know about and may not understand. And that is OKAY! You don’t have to understand it, you don’t have to change it. The most important thing, when dealing with people, is to leave them in a better state than when you found them. Give them a smile, a wave. Say hello or have a nice day.
Okay, Leslie, what does this have to do with my goals!?
Being negative, living under a cloud, talking about people or putting people down, will not build you up!
Having people remember you as a nice, friendly, kind person (even if you are shy and just smiled at someone, you don’t need to strike up a half hour conversation) they will still know you are a genuinely good person.
THAT is what you can control.
When you find yourself gossiping, find yourself comparing yourself to others, find yourself putting people down STOP IT! Focus on yourself and accept others for who they are and where they’re at. Be the kind of person that you want in your life. That is what will attract people to you. That is what will make you a happy memory in their lives and will make you someone that they want to be around.
Focusing on your Goal is not what will make it your reality. Focusing on yourself, every single day, as selfish as it sounds, focus on your daily routine to improve your health, how you feel, being proud of you, focus on how you interact with people, the vibe you put out to the world, the message you give yourself and others, THAT is what will get you there.
If you were to close your eyes. Okay do it. Wait, read this paragraph and then do it.
Close your eyes and picture you achieving your goal. Whatever it is. Speaking in front of a crowd, filling up your online program, traveling the world teaching teens about the possibilities in life, a fancy schmancy website that everybody goes to for the latest and greatest tips and tricks! Whatever it is and however shallow it may be… picture you… YOU… achieving your goal. Your hair, your outfit, the twinkle in your eye. How do you move? How do you walk? What sort of things do you say? Are you happy? Are you in great shape? What do you look like as this person who achieved their goal? How many people are looking up to YOU, just for being authentically you?
Now, what are you going to do today to get there?
About the Author
Leslie Klatt is the founder of Lavish Life brand – coaching people in life and business to balance what they have to do with what they want to do to create a rich and fulfilled life. She works one on one with clients who are just starting businesses to get them started on the right foot, all the way up to multiple 6 figure income earners who are ready to get organized, set priorities, goals and take their business to the next level. She has a published yearly planner “Lavish Life Planner”, multiple workbooks, that walks you through priority setting, defining success, mapping out goals and scheduling a balanced life. She is a wife, a mom of 2, an equestrian, a farmer, a lover of all things Martha Stewart and a balanced lifestyle coach.